How did I?


Oh how I loved you

In a million different ways
I looked at you as you slept and believed that this

Would last 

Maybe not forever cause nothing does that

I don’t care what people say 

Six years feel like a lifetime when it’s all you got

Still I loved you through the why’s and why nots 

As you tore through my spirit one jagged piercing at a time

My bones still show in some places

But I always blamed the moment like the words were coming out of thin air instead of the enemy I slept with

Ripping off my heart with fake love sounds

Dead love words that only came alive when you got what you wanted 

Took so long to figure you out

So much of you was under ground

Took so many excavations to come out with the wolf hidden under the sheeps wool 

But slowly you could no longer hide

The fangs tore at your gums

Your back began to curve under your wooly coat as the evil shown through your eyes 

Poison seeped

I could finally see

The beast. 

When things change

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Rampant swirls of letters run                                                                                                                  through my crowd mind                                                                                                                            everything I have ever wanted to say                                                                                                       to you sounds like                                                                                                                                     an ancient language, to me                                                                                                                                  now                                                                                                                                                      the words once full of love now posses a tinge                                                                                           of reality                                                                                                                                                Things we don’t want to see                                                                                                                   emotions we don’t want to feel                                                                                                              regrets we have lived, yet can’t change                                                                                               An ordinary life might be lived                                                                                                                  in an extraordinary way                                                                                                                                    If you love it                                                                                                                                        If you want it                                                                                                                                                        when you live it

 

Daydreaming….

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Every day, I write

The words travel the expanse of my mind
Traveling through my lips as I say them
Before I write them down
I think of all the people I love
Loved, will love perhaps
Depending on which part of my life they gain access to
Looking through the looking glass of my wishes I see
Cottages and fields of green, blue skies
Wine and silence
warm summer breezes blowing my rose colored curtains
Wicker chairs askew in the garden
Books on my mind
And at my side, love